Tracy had been feeling very discouraged. Her dad’s birthday was coming up and she had no idea what to get him. It had to be something great. Only three months ago Tracy had her own birthday. Her dad had bought her a brand new pair of skates. Just the ones she had been begging him to get for a long time. Receiving those skates was the best and worst thing to happen to her. On the one hand, her dad got her what she wanted. On the other hand, it was at a great personal sacrifice for him.

It was a week after her birthday that she overheard her parents were having about how tight money had been.

“I can’t believe you sold your violin.” said her mom.

“What else could I have done?” said her dad. “Tracy had been wanting those skates. With the economy being what it is sacrifices must be made.”

For the first time in her young life, Tracy felt guilty about bugging her dad for a present. Never before had she considered the sacrifices he has to make to provide for her. It was in that moment that Tracy vowed to make sacrifices to give her dad something nice for his birthday.

Only problem is, she didn’t know how to do that.

Finding a job proved impossible. Even the neighbors had no odd jobs to give her. She looked at her stuff and thought she might try to sell some of it. Being the pack rat that she is, Tracy hated the idea of selling anything she owns. Yet, her dad had sold his violin which he loved so much. As he said, sacrifices must be made.

Checking her phone to see how much she could get for her things. Traci came across a peculiar ad. It read ‘Gold Beyond Your Wildest Dreams’. Ordinarily, Tracy wouldn’t have given much thought to this ad. Her desire to give her dad something great for his birthday overpowered her good judgment.

So she clicked on the ad.

It took her to a website that was as basic as you can get. There was a message that read ‘ARE YOU TIRED OF NEVER HAVING ENOUGH MONEY? WELL LOOK NO FURTHER! BY COMPLETING A FEW SIMPLE TASKS YOU SHALL RECEIVE GOLD BEYOND YOUR WILDEST IMAGINATION. NEVER AGAIN WORRY ABOUT UNPAID BILLS, EMPTY FRIDGES, OR GOING WITHOUT. YOU WILL BE RICHER THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD! CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW. REMEMBER, SACRIFICES MUST BE MADE.’

“Gold beyond your wildest imagination would make a great present for dad.” said Tracy.

That meant he’d never have to work again unless he wanted to. It also meant that the whole family would be set for life. She wasn’t sure what sacrifices would be expected, but if her dad was willing to make one for her, Tracy was sure willing to make one for him.

So she clicked on the link The phone in her hand disappeared. That was odd. What was even odder was that Tracy was no longer in her bedroom. Now she was in what looked like the set of a game show from the 1970s. Before she had time to process her surroundings. A giant mouth with large smiling teeth appeared right in front of her eyes.

“Thank you for clicking the link.” said the giant mouth. “This proves that you want to have gold beyond your wildest imagination. The only question remains. Are you willing to make sacrifices?”

“I am.” said Tracy.

“Good. Now to start off. You are going to need to complete three tasks. For the first task you will need to place that box over there on the table. For the second task you will need to open the box. For the third and final task you will need to fill it up. Remember, sacrifices must be made. Are you sure you are willing to make them?”

Tracy didn’t see what the big deal was. The tasks seemed ridiculously simple to perform. No real sacrifice was being made at all. So she told the big mouth that she was willing to make them.

“Good. Now put the box onto the table.”

She obeyed. It wasn’t hard given that there was nothing inside.

“Open the box.”

She obeyed.

“Now fill the box with everything you own.”

“Excuse me?”

“That is the sacrifice you must make. Everything you own must go inside the box in order to win gold beyond your wildest dreams.”

“But everything I own couldn’t possibly fit into this box.”

“It will. That box can hold more than you think. Are you unwilling to sacrifice everything you own for the gold?”

The idea of giving up everything she owns was unpleasant to Tracy. She loved her stuff and didn’t wish to part with anything. Then she thought about her dad and the violin he sacrificed for her. Plus, with so much gold they could just buy her stuff back.

“My dad gave up his violin for me. So I’ll give up everything I own for him.” she said.

“That’s a good girl.” said the mouth.

Suddenly, everything she owned, books, DVDs, money, old toys, clothes, laptop, phone, and sports equipment fell from the sky and went straight into the box. Tracy thought the box would overflow with all her stuff that was going in. To her surprise, it didn’t. Once the last item went in, Tracy looked inside and saw that everything she owned was inside. It amazed her how this small box could hold so much and still have room for more.

“So That’s everything. Guess the gold is all mine.” she said.

“Not so fast. Everything you own must go inside the box.” said the mouth.

“But everything I own is in there. There’s nothing else.”

“You still have the clothes on your back.”

Tracy was horrified to hear this.

“You mean that I have to...get naked to win the gold? I can’t do that. I can’t.”

“I see. So you don’t love your father as much as he loves you. Wouldn’t he be disappoint to learn what kind of daughter he raised.”

Fighting back tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes. Tracy agreed to do as the mouth said. She hated every second of it, but she tried to go as fast as she could. A thousand eyes were watching her undress. This was just her imagination. At least that’s what she told herself.

Once she was naked, Tracy placed her clothes in the box.

“Congratulations! You have sacrificed everything you owned. You are officially entitled to gold beyond your wildest imagination! The gold is just behind that curtain over there!”

Tracy was relieved to hear this. Her humiliation would soon be worth it. She watched as the curtain pulled back. Revealing pie sitting on a table to the right of the stage. Thousands and thousands of pie made of some kind of metal.

“What is this?” she asked.

“Each each of those pies is made out of iron. Making them iron pies. All of them are sitting on the table to the right.”

“I don’t get it.”

The huge mouth began to laugh. “They are iron pies on the right. As in iron pyrite. As in fool’s gold!”

Tracy couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Fool’s gold? You mean..?”

“That’s right. You sacrificed everything for worthless fool’s gold you fool!”

The mouth gave out an evil laugh that echoed through the whole room. Then it disappeared.

As soon as the mouth was gone, the set no longer looked so bright and colorful as it was earlier. Now it was a decaying set that had seen better days. Tracy, who could still hear the laugh of that wicked mouth, just sadly walked away. Not even bothering to cover up herself since there was nobody around to see her. Nor did she tried to hide the tears in her eyes.

She kept walking and walking until she arrived at a door marked exit. At first, Tracy was happy to see this sign. It meant that she could get out of this crazy place and go home. As she was running to the door, Tracy began to wonder what kind of sacrifice she’ll need to make in order to leave. There had to be a sacrifice, right? Also, what if it wasn’t actually an exit?

Tracy now spends most of her time sitting on the ground and staring at the door marked exit. Longing to leave through it but too scared to even try.

A child snatcher had been watching a little girl in a green dress search around the playground. She was a rather pretty girl with long red hair. In his line of work, pretty children were a valuable commodity. The fact that she happened to be a redhead was an added bonus. He knew plenty of evil people who would pay a large sum of money for her. If he could just snatch her he’d make a fortune. As luck would have it, she seemed to be alone. Though she kept calling for someone name Teddy. This was a problem. Teddy could be her older brother, cousin, friend, or babysitter. If she was looking for him at the playground, that could mean Teddy isn’t too far away.

He was grateful that the playground was surrounded by trees. That way, nobody could see him approach this girl. Not even this Teddy fellow. So he casually walked up to her. Careful not to startle her. He gave her the sweetest smile he could.

“Hello little girl.” he said. “I couldn’t help but to hear that you are looking for someone name Teddy. Is he your older brother?”

“He’s my bear.” said the girl. “He comes with me wherever I go. Now I can’t find him. Have you seen him mister? He’s wearing a blue suit with a red polka dot bow tie, black shoes, brown derby, and glasses.”

So he’s just her teddy bear. He thought. This is perfect. No way a stuffed toy could stop me.

“I seem to remember seeing a bear in a blue suit not too far away.” he lied. “I believe he was just beyond those trees. Come with me and I’ll show you.”

The girl agreed to follow the child snatcher through the woods. This pleased the wicked man. He was hoping that she would be naive enough to believe him and he wasn’t disappointed. In his mind, he imagined himself picking up the little girl and carry her off to his car. Chances of him being caught were low. The child snatcher had been doing this kind of work for many years. He knew how to avoid detection.

They hadn’t gone far into the woods when they heard a gruff voice say, “What are you doing with her?”

The girl smiled. Clearly recognizing the voice. The child snatcher’s heart dropped. They both turned around and saw with an eight foot grizzly bear. Just as the girl described, he was wearing a blue suit with a red polka dot bow tie, black shoes, a brown derby, and glasses.

“Hi Teddy.” said the girl happily.

“Hi sweetheart.” said Teddy with a tip of his hat.

The bear’s warm face soon turned hard as he stared at the man standing next to the girl. That fierce growl he let out made the child snatcher feel uneasy. It was as if Teddy knew that he meant to harm the little girl.

“You were right mister.” said the girl cheerfully. “Teddy wasn’t far. Thanks for helping me find him. Would you like to shake his hand?”

Little Cheddar worshiped his father. Whenever the other mice would brag about how great their fathers are, Little Cheddar would chime in about how his father is the greatest of all. He’d brag about how his father is wiser than Aristotle, stronger than Samson, richer than Solomon, and braver than Lancelot. Now of course the other mice didn’t believe him. They thought Little Cheddar was exaggerating and they were right.

While it is true that his father, Big Cheddar, was wise, strong, rich, and brave. He was nowhere near the legendary mouse his son made him out to be. Often times he would scold Little Cheddar for telling outlandish stories about him.

“Nobody likes a bragger.” his father would say. “Especially if you’re lying about your achievements.”

Little Cheddar believed his father was only being modest. So he kept on bragging to the others about how great his father is.

One day at school, Little Cheddar began to tell everyone who’d listen that his father wasn’t afraid of cats

“In fact.” he said. “My father can beat any cat with one hand tied behind his back.”

Fate must’ve heard what the boastful mouse had said and decided to act. For a cat had arrived and tore up the school. Luckily, all the teachers and students were able to get away. Except for Little Cheddar. The cat was able to catch the young mouse in his paw.

“Such a meager feast.” said the cat. “Oh well, beggars can’t be choosers.”

“Just you wait you mean old cat.” said Little Cheddar. “My father will show up and beat the crap out of you. You’ll wish you were never born!”

The cat only laughed.

Before Little Cheddar could say anything else, his father arrived. The first thing Big Cheddar did was drop down on his knees and begged.

“Please Mr. Cat.” he said. “Spare my son. I’ll give you anything you want if you would just spare my son.”

The grand illusion Little Cheddar had made for himself shattered in that moment. No longer did he see his father as a great hero. Now he could only see a whimpering coward.

The cat laughed louder than before.

“This is your great father?” he said. “The one who’s gonna beat the crap out of me?”

His words stung Little Cheddar. What stung even harder was listening to the cat demand that Big Cheddar give him everything he owns. Instead of fighting, his father agreed to the cat’s terms.

Poor and homeless. Big Cheddar and Little Cheddar were forced to live off the kindness of others. They moved in with Big Cheddar’s sister who’s house was much smaller than their old house. Big Cheddar took on any and every job he could find just to support himself and his son. Most of them were odd jobs for the neighbors. Although he was always sore and tired, Big Cheddar never complained.

The same couldn’t be said for Little Cheddar. He hated the new life he was forced into. No longer did he enjoyed the comfortable life he had grown accustomed to. Now he was forced to live a life of poverty. Even worse, the only reason he was in this mess was because of his father. If Big Cheddar had been the great mouse his son believed him to be, he would have fought the cat. Instead, he crawled on his knees like a coward and gave the cat everything they owned.

One day, Little Cheddar decided he couldn’t stand to be under the same roof with a coward. So he ran away. The angry young mouse wanted to stay with someone who was better than his father ever was.

He wanted to live with the cat.

The cat was surprised to see the young mouse. At first, the cat thought Little Cheddar was out to seek revenge.

“I don’t want revenge.” said Little Cheddar. “As a matter of fact, I wanna live with you. You have shown me that my admiration was placed on the wrong animal. My father could’ve fought you but he didn’t. He begged like a mouse.”

“But your father is a mouse.” said the cat. “And so are you.”

“I don’t wanna be a mouse anymore if it means I have to be weak like my worthless father. I wanna be a cat. Cats are strong and can do whatever they want. Nobody picks on a cat. Teach me how to be a cat.”

The cat was flattered by the mouse’s words. So he agreed.

Over the years the cat trained Little Cheddar in the ways of the feline. He was an eager student. Taking all lessons seriously. During this time, Little Cheddar had started to grow bigger. He continued to grow until he reached the size of a cat. In fact, his appearance became more cat like.

This pleased Little Cheddar. Who no longer wished to be called Little Cheddar. So he changed his name to Large Tiger.

Once his training was complete, Large Tiger went off and attacked every small creature he could find. Oh how he loved seeing them beg for mercy. It really made him feel large. He killed many squirrels and rabbits. Whoever he didn’t kill he simply took their possessions. The lifestyle he lived was one that Large Tiger enjoyed. He did whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. Nobody could tell him otherwise.

One day, he came across a village of mice. It was too good to pass. No creature was weaker than a mouse. Before he could strike, an old mouse in glasses and a cane walked up to him.

“Hello Little Cheddar.” said the old mouse.

“Little Cheddar?” he said. “Nobody has called me that in years. How did you know old mouse?”

“Son, don’t you recognize your own father?”

Large Tiger took a good look at the old mouse. Sure enough, he was in fact his father.

“Why, if it isn’t my wimpy father. Did you come to beg for your life?”

“No, I haven’t come to beg. I’ve come to see what a disappointment you’ve become.”

This statement angered Large Tiger.

“Disappointment?! How dare you! Did you forget how I worshiped you?! How you disappointed me by begging that cat?! How you gave up everything when you could’ve fought?!”

Big Cheddar just shook his head.

“Poor foolish child. Is strength and possessions all you care about? Can’t you see that I did what I did out of love for you? It’s not my fault that I’m not the grand hero you thought I was. You, who only values the superficial. That cat had you in his paws. If I had tried to fight him you could’ve gotten hurt or worse.

Yes, I was scared. But that’s not a sign of weakness. It’s not even a sign of cowardice. It’s a sign of knowing that any wrong move could make a bad situation worse. I was never going to be able to fight that cat one on one. So I did the only thing I could think of, I begged. Maybe it wasn’t the most heroic thing to do, but in that moment it was the only option. I was scared the entire time I was begging. Afraid that it wouldn’t work. I didn’t wanna lose you the way I lost your mother.

Giving that cat everything I had worked so hard for was terrible, but it was a small price to pay for my son. Turns out I lost my son to that cat anyway.

If you wish to eat me, go ahead. I have nothing to lose.”

Large Tiger was left speechless. He wanted to argue with his father, but he didn’t know how. All these years he was completely wrong about his father. He looked at his reflection in a puddle and saw himself as Little Cheddar instead of Large Tiger. Suddenly he felt ashamed of himself.

“Forgive me Father.” he said. “I didn’t know. Please forgive me Father. Forgive me. Forgive me.”

“I forgive you for anything you’ve done Little Cheddar. I just hope you can forgive yourself.”

This was too much for Large Tiger. He knew the things he had done couldn’t be so easily forgiven. There was just no turning back for him. Not wanting his father see the tears in his eyes, Large Tiger covered them with his paws. Running as far away from the mouse village as possible.

Never again did Big Cheddar see his son. At least not physically. In his dreams, Big Cheddar would see Little Cheddar the happy little mouse. It was how he chose to remember him.

Toby didn’t know what to make of the antique video game he had just inherited from his rich Uncle Tim. It was an old NES cartridge with the picture of a smiling genie with a goatee on it. The genie had his hands in the air as if he was about ready to grant a wish. This was appropriate since the game was called Wish Granter. Toby loved to collect retro games, but he never heard of this game before. He looked it up online but nobody seemed to have ever heard of a game called Wish Granter. Regardless where it came from, it was the only thing Toby received from his now deceased uncle.

It was torturous for him to hear the lawyer list off the money and expensive items his cousins were receiving. Yet all Toby got was a lousy old video game nobody ever heard of. According to the will, Uncle Tim considered this game to be his most prized possession. Since he considered Toby his favorite nephew, it was only natural that Toby got it.

“This isn’t fair!” yelled Toby. “I took care of Uncle Tim as he was dying. No one else did. Why don’t I get any money?!”

“Don’t complain son.” said the lawyer. “Your uncle knew what he was doing when he made the will. You may find that game more valuable than anything your cousins received.”

These words were of little comfort. It wasn’t that Toby only helped his dying uncle just to receive money. In fact, he never once asked Uncle Tim for a penny even when he needed it. The thing that bothered Toby was that his lousy cousins who never came to see their uncle except when they needed money received everything of value. Toby was just hoping to receive enough money to pay off some of his debts like his student loans.

This is my punishment for being a good nephew. He thought bitterly.

Now he sits in his studio apartment sitting on an old couch he got from his parents. In front is an old CRT TV and his regular Nintendo. Toby decided that the only thing he could do was play the game. So he inserted Wish Granter into the Nintendo and turned the power on. The title screen showed the smiling genie from the cover except his arms were folded across his chest. The title Wish Granter appeared next to him with the option to start underneath.

Guess there’s no passwords for this game. Thought Toby as he pressed start.

There wasn’t much to be said about the game play. It was a typical side-scroller that was very common for the era the game came out. The bad guys were red cobras and fire breathing camels which fit with the desert setting. Having played many retro video games over the years, Toby found the game rather easy to play. The one thing he found peculiar about the game was the main character. He thought the character would wear an outfit that you’d find in the Arabian Nights. Instead, the character was wearing a modern day gray t-shirt, a pair of blue jeans, and some brown shoes. Similar to the outfit Toby was wearing. The character also had shaggy brown hair like him. In fact, if Toby didn’t know any better, he could’ve sworn that he was the main character.

No, that’s just crazy. He thought.

Eventually, Toby reached the end of the level. All he had to do was touch a giant lamp. Out popped the genie from the cover in all his eight bit glory. In a text box, the genie asked “What is your wish, Master?”

Under the genie’s question was a box with the alphabet. Toby understood that he was meant to type in a wish. It was a strange addition to the game. Why would the game developers include it? It’s not like the genie could actually grant a wish. Feeling hungry, Toby decided to type in the word pizza and hit ok.

“Your wish is my command!” said the genie in a text box.

The genie then raised his hands and the game flashed. Followed by a knock on the door.

No. It can’t be. Thought Toby as he went to answer the door.

“Pizza delivery.” said the delivery man.

Toby was dumbfounded. It was the same delivery man from Sara’s Pizza, Toby’s favorite pizza place. Surely this was some kind of mistake. Turns out, it wasn’t. The pizza guy explained that there was a drawing for a free pizza and Toby was the winner.

The pizza had pepperoni, ham, banana peppers, mushrooms, and onions. Just the way Toby liked it.

Coincidence. That what it is. Just a crazy coincidence.

Deep down, Toby knew that it couldn’t be a coincidence. Yet the alternative sounded way too insane. Did his uncle gave him a magic video game that grants wishes? No. It couldn’t be. Still, he would be a fool to waste the game on a mere pizza. So he played the next stage as he ate his pizza.

The second stage took place at night and featured purple demons with curved swords. They were a little tougher to avoid the cobras and camels from the previous stage, but Toby managed. Reaching the end, he knew exactly what he wanted to type in once the genie popped up.

All debts paid.

His cellphone vibrated. It was Uncle Tim’s lawyer.

“I found that your uncle named you the beneficiary in his life insurance policy. The policy was for three million dollars. It’s strange that I could’ve overlooked it. I’ve always been thorough when it comes to your uncle’s affairs. Then again, you must’ve discovered the value of your inheritance.”

“I sure did.” said Toby. “Uncle Tim really took care of me. You were so right about the game. Say, could you use the money to pay off my debts?”

“Just send me the information and I’ll handle everything. By the way, your uncle valued you above your cousins. That’s why he gave you the game. Prove that you’re worthy of his gift.”

“Yeah, sure. Are there any limits to how many wishes I get? Like maybe three.”

“There are no limit to amount of wishes you can make. Just don’t be too dependent on it.”

After hanging up, Toby was eager to get back to the game. He thought of all the wonderful things he would wish for. He always wanted to be a successful YouTuber. So he played through the third stage where he had to jump over quicksand. For his third wish, he wished to be a successful YouTuber.

Toby wanted to continue to the next stage, but he remembered that the lawyer said there were no limits to wishes. So he decided to turn it off and play later.

The next day, Toby went out and bought a camera and some video editing software for his YouTube channel. He also bought a fedora because he decided to call himself Toby Fedora. The channel was gonna be dedicated to talking about video games both old and new. It would’ve been a long shot with the market being so over saturated with gaming channels. The wish made it possible.

The first video received a million views in the first half hour. The channel received five million subscribers in that same time. Every video Toby uploaded received no less than one million views. As the channel grew in popularity, his began to grow. Ads, sponsorship, paid members, and merchandise sales made Toby into a multi-millionaire. His lifestyle improved. He was able to buy a house and a Corvette. He had more money than he ever dreamed, and was more famous than most people ever hoped to be.

Yet, Toby didn’t feel happy.

If anything, he felt like a complete fraud. Most people spent years of blood, sweat, and tears to earn at least a small amount of success. Toby became successful because of a magic video game. There was nothing special about him and he knew it.

One day, he visited his uncle’s lawyer to talk about his problem.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” said the lawyer. “You’re not a fraud. You made a wish and the game made it come true.”

“But that’s just it.” said Toby. “The game is the reason why I’m so successful. I didn’t earn any of it.”

“Lots of people enjoy unearned success without the aid of a wish granting game. Your cousins didn’t earn the fortune Tim left them. They were just fortunate enough to be related to him. I haven’t seen any of them since the reading of the will. Yet I can’t imagine any of them feeling guilty about getting Tim’s money and possessions. Most likely they squandered most of it already.

Tim didn’t give you any money. He gave you a tool to earn it yourself. I’ve known Tim for thirty years and I can tell you he would’ve been proud of the wishes you made. If you still feel a little guilty about it, you can do what your uncle did. Use the money you’ve already earned by trying different ventures. Give some of it to charity. Also, use the game sparingly.”

Toby saw the wisdom in what the lawyer had to say. So he followed his advice. Much of the money was giving to charity. Which made him feel pretty good knowing he was helping people. He tried his hand at many different ventures. Toby directed his own movie, created his own comic book, and invested in stocks. The movie was a modest success, the comic got mixed reviews, and his stocks went belly up. Yet none of it bothered him too much. Sure, the failures didn’t feel good and he wasn’t as successful as he would’ve been had he used a wish. Still, Toby could see he can be successful with the aid of the game.

Over the years Toby would direct a few other movies with varying degrees of success. He also wrote a novel which sold a lot better than he had expected. So he focused more attention on writing novels in between making YouTube videos. Eventually he quit YouTube to focus all his attention on writing.

Wish Granter was hardly ever played. There just didn’t seem to be any need to with the growing success of his novels. Whenever he did play it, Toby would just make simple wishes like have his room cleaned.

Once, he felt pretty lonely. As successful as he is, it meant nothing without somebody to share it with. He considered making a wish to find a wife. That proved unnecessary when he met his wife through a friend.

Toby lived a great life with his wife and kids. He never did played Wish Granter again. In fact, he had it placed in a safety deposit box. It was his intention that his kids would inherit the game after his passing. He just hoped they proved worthy.

Hector arrived at his local arcade. Apparently, they had recently acquired the infamous Heart Attack Pinball Machine. Rumor had it that everyone who’s ever played the pinball machine suffers a heart attack. It doesn’t matter how healthy the player is. Just playing the machine was guaranteed to cause a heart attack. Most arcades didn’t carry them because of this.

Hector didn’t believe there was such a thing as a Heart Attack Pinball Machine. That is, until he saw on social media that the arcade he goes to every Saturday got one. When he entered, he asked the employee at the counter about the machine. The employee confirmed they had it. Only if he wanted to play it, Hector had to sign a release stating that the arcade wasn’t liable for what happens to the player. It seemed a little silly to Hector, but he was curious. So he agreed to sign the release. The employee then escorted Hector to the machine.

The pinball machine was located at the back of the arcade. It was roped off from the other games and surrounded by red curtains. There was even a guard standing by to make sure nobody got in unless they signed the release. It was just so ridiculous to Hector. He felt like a child standing by his mommy as the employee told the guard he had signed the release. So Hector was allowed in.

There was nothing particularly interesting about the pinball machine. It just looked like any old pinball machine you’d find at an arcade. The only thing that distinguished it from any other was the fact that it was decorated with cartoon hearts fighting each other.

Oh, I get it. Thought Hector. The hearts are attacking each other. Hence the name. God, I hate puns!”

Playing the machine proved to be just as disappointing as the design. It was fun if it had been just any ordinary pinball machine. The problem is that this wasn’t just any ordinary pinball machine. It was the infamous Heat Attach Pinball Machine.

This is ridiculous. I’ve been playing this lousy machine for five minutes and I don’t feel like I’m about ready to have a heart attack.

Just as Hector decided to stop playing. One of the cartoon hearts came to life. Before Hector had time to react, the heart jump on him and proceeded to punch him. Thus making Hector another casualty of the Heart Attack Pinball Machine.

On an empty beach during the middle of summer, a mermaid had emerged from the sea. Her name was Elaine, and she was excited. Today was the day she could visit the surface world for the fist time. Elaine and been pestering her mother about it for a long time. Although her mother had been against the idea at first, she finally consented. There were, however, a few conditions Elaine needed to follow.

The first condition was that Elaine needed to surface on a beach that had no humans around. This is why Elaine had chosen to surface just before dawn. That way, nobody will be up to see her.

The second condition was she needed to take a lock box with her. Inside this lock box were two things Elaine needed for the human world, clothes and money. The young mermaid didn’t understand why she needed these things. Mermaids never wear clothes or use money. Why on earth would the humans need them? Plus she hated the idea of wearing clothes and carrying money. It just seemed unnecessary to Elaine. She tried to convince her mother she didn’t need them, but her mother wouldn’t budge. Either she took these things or she doesn’t get to go to the surface.

Once Elaine crawled her way to the shore, the first thing she did was removed her tail. It felt wonderful to get that fish skin off her body. It allowed Elaine to see her pale white legs and feet for the first time. She couldn’t help but admire how great they look. Every mermaid is a beautiful woman. So it stands to reason that every mermaid would have a beautiful pair of legs and feet under their tails. All mermaids are proud of their legs and Elaine is no exception to that.

I bet the human boys would love them. She thought to herself.

Elaine took a key from inside her tail to open her lock box. Inside was a bikini, a short sleeved t-shirt, and a pair of shorts. There were also a pair of shoes and socks, but her mother told her those were optional. Mermaids have a particular disdain for footwear. They avoid wearing them whenever possible. Elaine put on the clothes but opted to go barefoot. She would’ve done so even if her mother had forbidden it. The sand between her toes felt wonderful and there was no way Elaine would miss out on this pleasure.

The final item in the lock box was a wallet full of money. Enough to buy anything the mermaid wished to get in town. Elaine’s mother had forced her to memorize the value of each dollar and how much she should get back in change for certain purchases. That was the most boring lesson she had to endure, but her mother said it was important. Elaine didn’t think so. She didn’t really care if the humans wanted to keep more of the money than necessary. Money was of no importance to her. All she care about was her trip to the human world.

This is gonna be amazing! She thought to herself.

Placing the wallet in her front pocket, Elaine began to walk straight into straight. Enjoying each step she took in the sand. In her excitement Elaine had forgotten the most important condition her mother had, to place her tail inside the lock box and hide it.

A tail is very important to a mermaid. Without it, they are just an ordinary woman. A beautiful one yes, but not one who could live and breathe underwater. Something every mermaid loves. Losing this ability is a fate worse than death. This is why mermaids don’t let others touch their tails without their permission. A privilege they don’t give out easily. In fact, some have killed humans who barely touched their tails. That is why Cutthroat Pete was surprised to find a mermaid’s tail lying unguarded on the beach.

Cutthroat Pete is one of the most evil pirates to sail the seven seas. He has committed some of the most wicked deeds imaginable. He also knew how important a tail is to a mermaid. As well as the things a mermaid would do to get it back.

“Tis better than gold.” he said with glee.

He ran to the local tavern where his shipmates were. They congratulated Cutthroat Pete on his find. For there is an old saying amongst pirates and sailors; it is easier to spit in the eye of the devil than it is to find a mermaid’s tail.

“I be having fun with the mermaid once I find her.” said Cutthroat Pete.

His shipmates laughed. They knew full well the type of fun he had in mind.

While the pirates drank a toast to their shipmate’s good fortune, Elaine was enjoying her time amongst the humans. She had met a human man with blonde hair who was about the same age as her, and his ten year old sister. Elaine and the young man, whose name was Jim, took an instant liking to each other. Much to the amusement of his sister, whose name was Becky. Jim was annoyed by Becky’s teasing. Elaine found it cute.

Both Jim and Becky were very kind to Elaine. Showing her all the places to visit in town. Explaining human concepts like drinking out of cups. Jim loved watching Elaine’s excitement whenever she tried something for the first time, like ice cream. He was only sorry he couldn’t spend the day alone with her instead of having his annoying sister along.

“You’re lucky.” said Elaine. “I always wanted to have a sister or a brother.”

“You hear that Jim!” said Becky.

“I would say you could take Becky as your sister.” said Jim. “But she’s too ugly to be a mermaid.”

Becky stuck her tongue at her brother who returned the gesture. Elaine was about to say something until she noticed Jim’s face suddenly turned serious.

“Becky, get behind me!” he said. “You too Elaine.”

“What are you…”

“Just do as you’re told!”

The seriousness in his voice forced both Elaine and Becky to obey without question. Elaine looked over Jim’s and saw exactly what he was trying to protect them against. Cutthroat Pete and his shipmates were walking up to different people asking them if they know who the owner of the mermaid tail is. Elaine recognized it right away. She mentally kicked herself for not listening to her mother and place it in the lock box. Pirates were notorious amongst mermaids for stealing their tails and forcing them to have “fun” before giving it back. If they do at all.

“Is that your tail?” whisper Jim.

“I’m afraid it is.” she said.

“Don’t worry. I’ll go and get it back for you. Even if I have to kill every pirate.”

The fact that Jim was willing to take on the pirates for her made Elaine love him even more than she already did. It was fool’s errand and she knew it. The pirates would only kill Jim since they outnumbered him. So Elaine told him no. Mermaids are often very clever creatures. They will always try to find a way to get their tails back. Only giving up if the situation is hopeless or they want someone to have their tail. Neither is the case for Elaine. She remembered a fact about pirates from her mother. There is one crime that even the most evil pirate would never tolerate.

Cutthroat Pete kept telling his shipmates of all the fun he planned to have with the mermaid once they find her. That is when little Becky walked up to them.

“Excuse me, mister.” she said meekly. “Can I have my tail back?”

Sweat began to pour from Cutthroat Pete’s forehead. All of his shipmates gave him a death stare as they slowly drew out their swords.

“You mean that this tail belongs to you?” said one of the pirates.

Becky nodded as innocently as possible.

All swords were pointing at Cutthroat Pete.

“You wicked devil!” one of them said. “You were planning on taking advantage of an innocent child!”

“No! I wasn’t!” yelled Cutthroat Pete. “I didn’t know! I swear!”

None of his shipmates believed him. They dragged him away as he kept proclaiming his innocence. One of the pirates stayed behind to return the tail to Becky.

“I’m sorry this happened little girl.” he said. “It’s scumbags like that who give pirates a bad name. You won’t have to ever worry about Cutthroat Pete again. We’ll add another reason why he is called cutthroat.”

Once the pirates were out of sight, Becky returned the tail to Elaine. Who gave it to Jim to protect. She then treated the two siblings to some ice cream.

Many years ago there existed a country known as Sublimitas. This country, like so many others in those olden time days, was ruled by a king. It’s likely he had a regular name like John or Paul. His proper name, if he had one, has long been lost to history. He is, however, remembered for his nickname which was King Tiny. There is a very good reason why he was given such a nickname. In Sublimitas, the average height of a person was five foot six inches. Their monarch only stood three foot six inches. Because of his small stature, King Tiny wasn’t taken seriously.

Laughter always greeted his speeches because he had to stand on a box in order to be seen by the crowd. Sometimes the king was given a flimsy box to stand on just to watch him fall through. This was greeted with even more laughter. Tiny would demand to know who gave him such a box but nobody seemed to know who. If that wasn’t bad enough, unflattering cartoons poking fun at his height circulated in the streets. All the peasants had a good laugh at them. King Tiny often saw his advisors laughing at these cartoons. He would fly into a blind rage and tear up every cartoon they had. It did little use since there were always more to be found.

The king’s tailors would often fit him in clothes too big for him. After the king put them on, the tailors would then remark, “Oh Your Majesty! You have shrunk!” Then they would go into fits of laughter before giving him his proper clothes. Even his own advisors weren’t above pulling pranks on Tiny. Often times they would replace his throne with a much bigger one. When the king would sit in it, he would look like a small child trying to sit in his father’s chair. The advisors would come in and say, “Oh Your Majesty! You have shrunk!” Before bursting into fits of laughter. King Tiny would fume a bit but the advisors would always give him back his real throne.

King Tiny found this lack of respect discouraging. He wanted to known as the greatest king in the entire world. Not as the butt of everyone’s jokes. The king thought about the problem for three weeks. If he was a wise king, he would have cooked up a sensible solution to his problem. Since he wasn’t a wise king, he came up with a foolish one. The next day, King Tiny issued a proclamation that read “It is hereby forbidden to be taller then the king. Violators shall be put to death.”

The people of Sublimitas burst into fits of laughter upon hearing the proclamation. “The king has gone loony!” said one peasant. “Does Tiny really expect us to obey?” said another. Other peasants made similar comments. The peasants’ reaction reached the ears of the king. Tiny just chuckled to himself and said, “Those simpletons will soon find out that I’m not joking.”

An hour later the king and the royal executioner appeared before the people. Any laughter that was still lingering ceased. Tiny felt pleased to see the eyes of the peasants were filled with fear. He then randomly chose ten peasants to come forward. Although they didn’t want to, the ten peasants reluctantly obeyed. They were then measured by the royal tailors to see if they were taller then the king. Since all of them were, King Tiny ordered them to be executed right on the spot.

Change had taken place the day after the executions. The people of Sublimitas tried anything in order to shrink themselves. One popular method was simply to walk on their knees in the presence of the king. Another method was to crawl while his majesty was around. Tiny found both methods to be acceptable at first. Until the king noticed that the moment he was out of sight the peasants would get right back up. Tiny hated the idea that the peasants were still taller than him. So the king then issued another royal proclamation stating “Everyone must be shorter than the king at all times.” Of course nobody could walk on their knees or crawl at all times. So new methods had to be adopted.

Quakes made a fortune selling shrinking potions. Parents forbid their children from eating anything that helped them grow tall. They even encouraged their children to do unhealthy habits that would possibly stun their growth. If not cut their lives short. Doctors were able to develop a surgery that reduced one’s height. Those who could afford the surgery took it. The ones who couldn’t afford it tried do it yourself methods. It was because of these home remedies that the death rate increased. Life in Sublimitas became almost unbearable.

Five long years went by. The average height in Sublimitas was now two foot six inches. Medium, large, extra large and double XL no longer existed. The only sizes were small, extra small, double XS, and triple XS. It was during these five years that King Tiny ordered his royal tailors to make his clothes a little too small for him. He did this to make himself look like he was going through a growth spurt. Whenever someone saw the king, they would say, “Look at that. Our monarch has grown so fast.” To continue this illusion, Tiny had all his silverware and throne to be smaller. All of his dinner guest were given silverware and chairs that were far too big for them.

Tiny had gone from the butt of everyone’s jokes to a feared king. The citizens of Sublimitas were so afraid of their monarch that they would shower him with praise just to avoid punishment. Paintings, sculptures, ballads, and plays were created for the purpose of honoring the king’s greatness. The king cared little of the sincerity of their praise. He just cared that they gave it. In fact Tiny considered himself so great that king was no longer a fitting title. His new title was the Most Magnificent One.

King Tiny no longer exist. There was only the Most Magnificent One. Anyone caught referring to him by his old name would be put to death.

All went well until the police brought a traveler before the Most Magnificent One. He looked angrily at the nervous traveler. Then he asked, “What is your name?”

“Wadlow,” answered the traveler.

“Exactly how tall are you Wadlow?”

“I am exactly nine feet six inches.”

“Well Wadlow. You have broken a sacred law. It is forbidden to be taller then the Most Magnificent One. I would normally have you executed, but I’m feeling generous today. You may see my royal doctor to have yourself shrunk free of charge.”

“I refuse to have myself shrunk just to satisfy the ego of a small king!”

“I am not a king! I am the Most Magnificent One! Since you dishonor my will, you shall be put to death!”

The Most Magnificent One ordered his guards to seize Wadlow. The guards grabbed hold of his legs. Wadlow simply knocked them down. He could have done this earlier but he didn’t want to cause trouble. At this point, it no longer matter. Wadlow ran to the throne and grabbed Tiny by the shirt. Lifting him up, Wadlow tossed Tiny out the window.

The people of Sublimitas crowned Wadlow as their new king. Did they live happily ever after? It would have been nice if they did. But after being crowned king, Wadlow issued out a proclamation that read “It is hereby forbidden to be shorter then the king. Violators shall be put to death.”

Church bells rang out through the kingdom of Wono. Every citizen who heard their wonderful sound came out of their houses dressed in the finest clothes they own. Many of them were singing happy songs while others danced merrily on the road. Some waved flags while others threw colorful confetti. There were old folks who walked with canes and babies who needed to be carried by their mothers. There were the wealthiest merchants and the poorest farmers. It mattered not, for all were going to see the coronation of their newest king.

It was a glorious ceremony. Young Henry Winthrop sat upon the throne in which so many of his predecessors had sat. His feet didn’t even reach the floor. Everyone in the audience remarked how handsome he looked in his royal robes. Henry just thought how much he wished he could change out of these uncomfortable robes and go play. The soon to be king then stared at the large crowd. Not sure what to make of any of this. He saw no reason why anyone would care to see him. Henry’s eyes then gazed upon the archbishop, who had crowned his father before him. The archbishop held a golden crown with bright rubies that had been on the head of many of Wono’s kings. Including Henry’s now deceased father.

Henry wanted nothing more than for this boring ceremony to be over with. The archbishop made some speech about how the Winthrops have ruled Wono for a long time. Going into great detail on the proud history of this great royal family. Henry had heard this history before and he didn’t find it the least bit interesting. The young prince wanted to tell the old windbag to shut up and get on with the crowning. What stopped him from doing that was the fact that his soon to be chief advisor told him before the ceremony that the prince needed to behave himself. If he didn’t behave during the coronation the gollyrad would get him. Not wishing to be the gollyrad’s victim, Henry tolerated the boredom as best he could.

Finally, the archbishop placed the crown upon his head. Only it was far too big for his tiny head and ended up sitting on his shoulders.

“Don’t worry.” said the archbishop. “you’ll grown into it.”

As silly as he looked wearing the over-sized crown, everyone cheered. For Henry Winthrop was their newest king. He was also their youngest at only four years old.

The moment the coronation was over Henry was put to work as king.. There were trade disputes to settle, alliances to be formed, meetings to attend, laws to pass, medals to be given, taxes to collect, and grievances to solve.

“This stuff is boring.” Henry said to his chief advisor. “Can I just go play?”

“That’s not possible Your Majesty.” said the chief advisor. “You have many more duties to attend to before the day is out. For you are Henry Winthrop, king of Wono. Besides, if you don’t perform you duties, the gollyrad will get you.”

Henry Winthrop just sighed but carried out his duties without further complaint. For years the young king would rule over his kingdom without having any time to himself. By the time he was seven his blonde hair was already starting to turn gray. He brought this issue up to his advisors, who only assured him that gray hair was the sign of wisdom.

“Your Majesty should feel honored to receive this gift at such a young age.” they said.

“It’s a gift I’d rather not have.” said Henry bitterly.

“Don’t be ungrateful You Majesty.” they said. “Or else the gollyrad will get you.”

By the time Henry turned ten, his hair was almost completely gray. His face also contained some wrinkles, his bones started to ache, and he suffered from stomach ulcers. Sometimes he would stare out the window and see kids his age run around playing without a care in the world. None of them looked anywhere near as old as he did. Henry longed to just play around like a normal kid. Then he remembered about the gollyrad and went on with his duties.

Henry always felt tired, for his kingly duties kept him up all the time. He was lucky to be giving a half hour to nap before one of his advisors come barging in his royal chambers wanting something. One day Henry felt drained and wanted nothing more than to have a good long sleep. He went to his royal chambers and collapsed on his bed. Not bothering to change into his pajamas, Henry wrapped himself in his blanket. As he began to doze off his chief advisor enter his chamber.

“Your Majesty.” he said. “There’s some urgent business that needs your attention.”

“Oh, go away.” said Henry. “I just want to sleep.”

“But Your Majesty. This requires your atten...”

“I said go away!” yelled Henry, who just wanted some sleep. “If you don’t leave this very minute I’ll have you executed!”

Without another word the chief advisor left.

Not since becoming king did Henry enjoyed uninterrupted sleep. When he woke up he discovered that he had slept longer than he intended. Henry didn’t care. The young king felt refreshed.

As he got up to change his clothes a thought had occurred to him. The only reason the chief advisor left him alone was because of his threat. Even though Henry had no intention of actually executing him, the young king realized he could have if he wanted to. All this time he felt like a slave to the crown when in reality the crown made everyone a slave to him. All that talk about the gollyrad was just to keep Henry from realizing that.

Changes were made that very day. All the king’s advisors were required to dress up like clowns. It amused Henry to seem them try to act dignified as they gave him boring reports. Whenever Henry wanted them to shut up, he simply threw a pie at them. He would then laugh harder than he had ever did in his life. Because of this the advisors were less incline to bother him.

Playtime became a top priority for the young king. He wanted to know every game that exist. He wanted to enjoy the carefree side of childhood that had been denied to him. So he allowed children into the castle regardless of their station in life. They taught him all sorts of games he had no idea existed. As happy as he was learning these games, playing them proved to be more challenging than Henry expected. He lost every game he played. The other children found that amusing and began to laugh. Their laughter enraged the king so much he threatened to have everyone of them executed. An uncomfortable silence fell upon the children. From then on the king won every game they played.

For his own amusement Henry forced the royal guards to wear rubber chickens on their heads, sausage links around their necks, torn green pants with their underwear on the outside, burlap sacks as shirts, and they carried breadsticks instead of spears. They were required to say ‘I’m a stink head’ as they marched. The sight amused the young king. He took it a step further by one day ordering the guards to remove their boots and march on thumb tacks. Henry laughed as they all fell over in pain.

Then Henry thought he heard a growl. He looked around but he saw no animal. So he brushed it off.

During his playtime a little girl in pigtails came to inform her brother, who had been playing with the king, that their mom wanted him to come home. Henry, who still wanted to play, insisted that the boy stay.

“But Mommy said supper will be ready soon and he should come home.” said the girl.

“I don’t care what your mommy said.” said Henry. “I’m the king. I outrank your mommy!”

The boy, who didn’t want to keep playing anyway, told Henry that they could resume their game tomorrow since it was getting late. The king reluctantly agreed, but he was going to make the girl pay for interrupting his game. As she began to walk Henry grabbed hold of her pigtails and yanked them as hard as he could. The girl screamed in pain and begged the king to stop. This caused the king to pull even harder. The girl’s brother ask the king to stop. Once again this only cause him to pull even harder and the girl screamed even louder.

In a fit of rage the brother kicked Henry as hard as he could in the leg. The king cried out in pain. He finally let go of the girl’s pigtails and grabbed hold of his kicked leg. Rubbing it gently. Henry then looked up at the brother and yelled. “Guards! Take him to the chopping block!”

As the guards were about to obey his command, the sister pleaded for her brother’s life. Henry Winthrop enjoyed seeing the girl beg for mercy. So he decided to spare his life on one condition, the girl must kiss a frog in front of everyone. Oh, how much the king loved seeing the look of disgust on her face as she puckered up and kissed the frog on the lips. How she ran away crying as Henry led spectators in the “sitting in a tree” song. What amused Henry even more was how her angry brother yelled. “I hope the gollyrad gets you!” For Henry Winthrop, king of Wono, no longer believed in the gollyrad.

That same growl from before reached the ears of the king. He turned around and saw a pair of large yellow eyes stare at him. This frightened the king a little, but brushed it off as the eyes quickly disappeared.

Candy had been a treat long denied to Henry. The first time he got to try it he was hooked. It was by far the best food he ever tasted. There was only one problem. The neighboring kingdom of Murray made better candy than Wono. So Henry Winthrop decided to invade Murray and take all their candy. His advisors warned against such an action, but Henry just threw pies at them. He then ordered all boys regardless of age serve in the army. Since Henry was made king at the age of four, he saw no reason why no boy could serve in the military.

As the army was being prepared that growl came back. This time when Henry looked he saw yellow eyes and sharp teeth. The king’s heart started pounding. This must be the gollyrad he had been warned about so many times. He ordered a soldier to shoot it.

“But there’s nothing there, You Majesty.” said the soldier.

“Are you blind?!” yelled Henry. “The gollyrad is right there!”

“Then I hope he gets you.” he said as he walked away.

The king ran to other soldiers, his advisors, random citizens and begged them to help him against the gollyrad. Nobody saw what the king saw, but if they had they’d done nothing. For they all said, “I hope the gollyrad gets you.”

With no alternative the king ran as far away from Wono as possible. To keep from being recognized, Henry stopped at a tailor’s shop to trade his royal clothes for some plain ones. Day and night, rain and shine Henry ran from the gollyrad. Barely eating or sleeping out of fear of the gollyrad catching up. Every day Henry grew thinner and older, though he didn’t allow himself to notice.

Winter came and a terrible blizzard hit the land. The icy wind blew across the snow covered land. It was a miracle it didn’t knock the skeletal king over, though it chilled his aching bones. Every step was difficult for Henry, for the snow was six inches deep. He feared that his boots would come off or that snow would enter inside his boots. Although he was dressed for winter, the king’s clothes did little to shield him from the blizzard. Henry started to feel ill. His head was pounding, his nose was stuffy, he developed a nasty cough, it felt like he had a brick on his chest, and despite the cold temperature he felt like his whole body was on fire. There was no doubt that he needed to find some shelter.

He spotted a cave a few feet ahead of him, though it might as well had been a few miles with the wind and the snow. Once he made it inside the cave Henry collapsed. Sometime later he woke up and found himself lying in a bed with a damp cloth on his forehead. He looked around and saw a large grizzly bear carrying a bottle of medicine.

“Oh good, you’re awake.” she said. “Time for you to take this medicine. I’m afraid you came down with pneumonia.”

“How long have I been asleep?” ask Henry, feeling scared.

“I don’t know.” said the bear. “Eight, maybe ten hours.”

“Eight or ten hours!” yelled Henry as he got out of bed. “I gotta get moving to stay ahead of the gollyrad!”

“Oh no you don’t.” snapped the bear. “You are sick and I’m gonna take care of you!”

“You don’t understand.” said Henry. “If I stay here I’ll die.”

“If you go out there you’ll die.” she said.

“Then I’m a dead man.” he said.

For the first time in ages Henry Winthrop allowed himself to cry. He knew it was an unkingly thing to do but he no longer cared. Under his breath he kept saying “I don’t wanna die.” The grizzly sat on the bed beside him and gave him a hug. Henry, who had never been hugged before, found the gesture comforting.

“Now, tell me who are you and why the gollyrad wants to get you.” said the bear in a motherly voice.

Henry Winthrop, frightened child, told the bear everything. She just sat on the bed listening. Only saying “I see” after Henry finished a sentence. When he was done with his story the grizzly bear got up and told him that she will be right back before leaving the cave. From a distance Henry could hear the bear growl and it sounded like she was fighting something. When she returned the bear had blood on her lips. This concerned Henry.

“Don’t worry.” said the bear wiping her mouth with a napkin. “The blood isn’t mine. You don’t have to worry about that gollyrad anymore. But you have me to worry about, you naughty boy! I should take you across my knee for the things you did, however, I do think you suffered enough after everything that’s happened. I’ll nurse you back to health, but once you’re well you will march back to your kingdom and apologize. Then I’ll have a talk with those idiots who advise you.”

It was springtime when Henry WInthrop was well enough to return to Wono. He apologized to everyone he had wronged. Pledging to never again behave like a tyrant. The grizzly bear kept her word and spoke to the advisors about allowing Henry to have more time to himself. A council was formed to relieve some of the pressure off the young king. Henry started to look more like a kid than he did an old more, which pleased him greatly. The bear became his most trusted advisor and friend. In a way Henry feared her more than he ever feared the gollyrad. Not because he believed she’d kill him, but because he worried about ever disappointing her.

On top of a lonely hill sat the house of Mabel the witch. Like most witches, Mabel lived in a house that should have been torn down decades ago. If someone were to have told the old witch to move out, Mabel would have had that person transformed into a bat to throw into her cauldron. No one ever comes to visit the old witch, not even the sun wants to come to her house. Mabel does not mind this, especially when she is working on one of her spells.

“Drat!” cursed the old hag, “I’m all out of snake tongues! Now I have to go run to the store to get some.”

Mabel grabbed a hold of her broomstick and flew out the window to the store. She was gone for about a half hour when Mabel came back in a bitter mood. “Fourteen dollars for six snake tongues!” she grumbled, “I ought to hex that storekeeper! Maybe I’ll cause him to break out into a rash every time a customer makes a purchase?”

Whatever cures she wanted to place on the storekeeper, Mabel decided to put it out of her head to focus on what she set out to do. She walked to her cabinet to retrieve an old cauldron. Mabel placed the cauldron over a roaring fire she had conjured up. Once the cauldron was on the fire, the old witch added her ingredients: muddy swamp water from Florida, a camel’s hide, six snakes’ tongues, ten crocodiles’ teeth, two rotten pumpkins leftover from Halloween, fifteen bats’ wings, and a fish scale. Now that all the ingredients were added, Mabel danced like someone about to make a sacrifice. With the dance, Mabel recited her spell, “Boil! Oh cauldron. Boil like blood! Rot like a three-week-old spud! Mix! Oh ingredients that makes one puke! Change into something fit for a duke!”

The contents in the cauldron transformed into a tan, gooey substance. Mabel stopped her dance to look inside. “Oh joy!” said the witch with a grin, “It worked! Makes me almost want to forgive that crooked old storekeeper.” Mabel let out a cackle. Witches are very seldom quick to forgive anyone who offends them Normally they’d hex you the moment their temper goes. At the moment, Mabel was happy that the spell had work. However, she still had another spell to perform. If it works, Mabel will leave that storekeeper alone. If it doesn’t, lets just hope that storekeeper’s insurance is paid up.

Mabel emptied the tan gooey substance into an empty jar. She then washed the cauldron thoroughly. Cauldrons should always be washed after every spell, for a dirty cauldron may cause a spell to go wrong. After the cauldron was cleaned, the old witch placed it back over the fire. Different ingredients were added: ink from a fountain pen, thirty strawberry tops, harden clay, four legs from a spider, seven tree branches, and a rabbit’s ear. The dance Mabel performed was slightly different from before, but a wrong move could ruin the spell. The spell she recited was different, “Steady! Oh cauldron! Don’t overflow! Finish! Before you blow!”

This time, the contents in the cauldron changed into a red, sticky substance. “How delightful,” cheered Mabel as she looked inside her cauldron, “that nasty storekeeper maybe spared yet. But I must give it a try. Wouldn’t want to be going soft now would I?” Witches prefer to be feared than loved. If any witch were to show kindness simply out of the goodness of her heart, she would be cast out from society. A witch should only show kindness when she is in a good mood, not because she has a kind heart.

There is one final thing for Mabel to do. She opens up an old breadbox and pulls out a loaf of bread she had made earlier. Mabel placed the loaf on the table. With an ax, she chopped off the heels of the bread and threw them away. Witches are known for eating things that would make most people sick, but even a witch would never eat the heels from a loaf of bread. Mabel then chopped two slices from the loaf and placed them on a plate. She then took the ax and scooped up some of the tan gooey substance to spread on one of the slices. She then wiped the ax clean with a rag to scoop up the red sticky substance to spread on the other slice of bread. Mabel placed the two slices together then took a bit.

“Yum!” said the witch, “this is the best peanut butter and jelly sandwich I ever had! I will forgive that terrible storekeeper.”

It was a good thing for the storekeeper, for his insurance wasn’t paid up. On top of a lonely hill sat the house of Mabel the witch. Like most witches, Mabel lived in a house that should have been torn down decades ago. If someone were to have told the old witch to move out, Mabel would have had that person transformed into a bat to throw into her cauldron. No one ever comes to visit the old witch, not even the sun wants to come to her house. Mabel does not mind this, especially when she is working on one of her spells.

“Drat!” cursed the old hag, “I’m all out of snake tongues! Now I have to go run to the store to get some.”

Mabel grabbed a hold of her broomstick and flew out the window to the store. She was gone for about a half hour when Mabel came back in a bitter mood. “Fourteen dollars for six snake tongues!” she grumbled, “I ought to hex that storekeeper! Maybe I’ll cause him to break out into a rash every time a customer makes a purchase?”

Whatever cures she wanted to place on the storekeeper, Mabel decided to put it out of her head to focus on what she set out to do. She walked to her cabinet to retrieve an old cauldron. Mabel placed the cauldron over a roaring fire she had conjured up. Once the cauldron was on the fire, the old witch added her ingredients: muddy swamp water from Florida, a camel’s hide, six snakes’ tongues, ten crocodiles’ teeth, two rotten pumpkins leftover from Halloween, fifteen bats’ wings, and a fish scale. Now that all the ingredients were added, Mabel danced like someone about to make a sacrifice. With the dance, Mabel recited her spell, “Boil! Oh cauldron. Boil like blood! Rot like a three-week-old spud! Mix! Oh ingredients that makes one puke! Change into something fit for a duke!”

The contents in the cauldron transformed into a tan, gooey substance. Mabel stopped her dance to look inside. “Oh joy!” said the witch with a grin, “It worked! Makes me almost want to forgive that crooked old storekeeper.” Mabel let out a cackle. Witches are very seldom quick to forgive anyone who offends them Normally they’d hex you the moment their temper goes. At the moment, Mabel was happy that the spell had work. However, she still had another spell to perform. If it works, Mabel will leave that storekeeper alone. If it doesn’t, lets just hope that storekeeper’s insurance is paid up.

Mabel emptied the tan gooey substance into an empty jar. She then washed the cauldron thoroughly. Cauldrons should always be washed after every spell, for a dirty cauldron may cause a spell to go wrong. After the cauldron was cleaned, the old witch placed it back over the fire. Different ingredients were added: ink from a fountain pen, thirty strawberry tops, harden clay, four legs from a spider, seven tree branches, and a rabbit’s ear. The dance Mabel performed was slightly different from before, but a wrong move could ruin the spell. The spell she recited was different, “Steady! Oh cauldron! Don’t overflow! Finish! Before you blow!”

This time, the contents in the cauldron changed into a red, sticky substance. “How delightful,” cheered Mabel as she looked inside her cauldron, “that nasty storekeeper maybe spared yet. But I must give it a try. Wouldn’t want to be going soft now would I?” Witches prefer to be feared than loved. If any witch were to show kindness simply out of the goodness of her heart, she would be cast out from society. A witch should only show kindness when she is in a good mood, not because she has a kind heart.

There is one final thing for Mabel to do. She opens up an old breadbox and pulls out a loaf of bread she had made earlier. Mabel placed the loaf on the table. With an ax, she chopped off the heels of the bread and threw them away. Witches are known for eating things that would make most people sick, but even a witch would never eat the heels from a loaf of bread. Mabel then chopped two slices from the loaf and placed them on a plate. She then took the ax and scooped up some of the tan gooey substance to spread on one of the slices. She then wiped the ax clean with a rag to scoop up the red sticky substance to spread on the other slice of bread. Mabel placed the two slices together then took a bit.

“Yum!” said the witch, “this is the best peanut butter and jelly sandwich I ever had! I will forgive that terrible storekeeper.”

It was a good thing for the storekeeper, for his insurance wasn’t paid up.

Little Philip wanted to be a knight. All he ever dreamed about was fighting dragons, rescuing fair damsels, wearing shining armor, and riding a white horse. When his counselor asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, he told her that he wanted more than anything to be a knight.

“That’s good.” said his counselor. “You have to plan for the future and be prepared to work real hard.”

There were a lot of perks to being a knight. Knights made a lot of money and were very famous. Little Philip was made fun of a lot in school. So becoming a famous knight who made a lot money would be his way of seeking revenge.

One day, when Philip wasn’t so little anymore, he enrolled into knight school. It cost a lot of money to go to knight school. Philip had to buy a horse, a sword, a lance, and some armor. None of which came cheap. He also needed to buy textbooks. Lots and lots of textbooks. They were especially not cheap. In fact, they would often go out of print at the moment Philip bought them.

“So what if it cost a lot of money to go to knight school?” said Philip. “It will be worth it when I become a knight and make a lot of money.”

The teachers at knight school worked Philip very hard. They made him learn about the many different types of dragons he would be facing and how to beat each one. They also taught him how to use different kinds of swords and how to put on armor and how to defeat different types of monsters. All of which is useful for a knight to know. Philip also learned how to program something called a VCR and how many blades of grass are in a lawn and how to wax a chicken’s surfboard.

“I don’t understand how programming an ancient machine, knowing number of grass blades in a lawn, or waxing surfboards belonging to chickens have to do with being a knight.” said Philip to his teachers.

“They have everything to do with being a knight.” said his teachers. “If they didn’t, we wouldn’t be teaching them now would we?”

“I guess not.” said Philip, though he wasn’t too sure that was true.

So Philip went along with all the lessons. Even the ones that seemed useless to him. He wanted to believe it would all be worth it just to make his dream come true.

Before he could graduate from knight school, Philip was told by his counselor that he needed to do an internship before he could graduate.

“Why do I need to do an internship?” asked Philip.

“It will teach you how to be a knight.” said his counselor.

“I thought I was already learning how to be a knight at this school.” said Philip.

“That’s not enough.” said the counselor. “You need to work in the field to gain experience.”

“So this means I’ll be getting paid?” asked Philip who needed some money.

“You’ll be paid in experience.” said the counselor. “That’s far more valuable than money. Speaking of money, you are a little behind on your tuition payment. You need to watch that. This school needs money in order to function.”

Philip sighed. “I understand.” he said. “It’s just hard sometimes. You see, my father needed to have open heart surgery and…”

“No excuses!” yelled the counselor. “Pay your tuition!”

Philip just nodded and quietly left the office.

Philip took up an internship at a company called Knight Time. It was a big company with a lot of famous knights. Everyone wanted to intern there. So Philip was considered lucky to get the internship. They taught him all sorts of skills like fetching coffee, sweeping floors, unclogging toilets for the horses, and polishing the armor.

“This doesn’t make sense.” said Philip to another intern. “Why are we expected to do any of this for no money?”

“My uncle said that everyone has to start at the bottom.” said the other intern. “It’s not like we can expect to be famous knights over night.”

“I understand that.” said Philip. “But what I don’t understand is why are we doing work that’s unrelated to being a knight for no money?”

“Is that all you think about is money?” said the other intern. “You really are greedy aren’t you? This experience is more valuable than money. My uncle tells me that because of the work I’m doing now, I’m guaranteed to become a knight with this company. He should know, my uncle is one of the best knights they have here at Knight Time.”

Philip sighed but said nothing.

Graduation was soon upon Philip. His family was very proud of him. Philip was proud of himself. He had graduated from knight school. Now he can go out into the world and become a knight. The first thing he did was to send his resume to all sorts of knight companies. It wasn’t easy. Most of them required him to have at least three years experience before they’d even talk to him. A lot of them also required him to have four years of experience with certain magic swords that were only created two years ago. Philip’s heart sank when he saw how most of the companies required him to have skills he never learned at knight school.

He was able to get an interview at a few companies. All of them went the same way.

“You have no experience as a knight.” the interviewer would say.

“But I did an internship.” Philip would say.

“That doesn’t count.” the interviewer would say. “You didn’t get paid. So it’s not real work experience.”

Philip was forced to take a job at his local grocery store. He didn’t like the job, but his bosses treated him well, he got along with his co-workers, and the customers were friendly when they weren’t being rude. One day at work he ran into an old classmate who did the internship with him.

“I’m surprised to see you working at a place like this.” he said to Philip. “I was able to get a job with my uncle right after our internship was over.”

“Some people have all the luck.” said Philip sadly.

Over the years Philip tried to become a knight, but nobody wanted to hire him. A few people had suggested that Philip become a freelancer, but Philip couldn’t afford to do so much traveling for little pay. He desperately wanted his dream to come true. So he came up with the idea to go into business for himself. Only problem was he owed too much money to knight school to think about going into more debt.

“Chasing my dream has turned into a real knight mare.” he said to himself.

One day, as Philip was sitting on a park bench feeling sorry for himself. A dragon came walking by.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Is there anything I can do?”

“I wanted to be a knight but nobody will hire me.” said Philip. “I don’t understand what I have done wrong. I went to knight school, I did everything they told me to do, I applied to every business. Yet nobody wants me. I’m a failure.”

The dragon sat down next to Philip and said. “Nobody’s life goes exactly as planned. Sure, you can plan on a lot of things to happen and even prepare for them. The fact is there’s always gonna be a surprise you never planned on. Sometimes it’s good. Sometimes it’s bad.”

“Not becoming a knight is a bad surprise.” said Philip.

“Perhaps it is.” said the dragon. “But I bet you never thought you’d be sitting on a park bench talking to a dragon.”

“That’s right. I never dreamed of that.” said Philip.

“I’ll bet there are lots of good surprises out there you’ve never dreamed of.” said the dragon. “It’s ok to feel a little sad when things don’t work out. What’s not ok is to dwell on it. Go out there and try to find those good surprises.”

With that last piece of advice, the dragon walked away.

Philip felt renewed after the conversation. He decided to go find those good surprises. He wasn’t sure where to look or what they might be. The only thing he knew is that it was the only thing he can do.

Share Fantasticus Stories

A long time ago there was a brother and a sister who always played together. They loved to play outdoors throughout the different seasons. If you were to ask them what their favorite season of the year both would tell you winter. The reason why is very simple, that was when they could build a snowman. It was their all time favorite activity. Throughout their young lives they built many snowmen. On one particular winter, the brother and sister built a snowman that was smaller than usual. Their mother had informed them that the snow would melt in a few days. So there was no point in making a tall snowman. They had given him some button eyes, yarn for a mouth, branches for arms, and a carrot for its nose.

“It’s not the biggest snowman we’ve ever made.” said the brother. “But he still looks good.”

“Yeah, he turned out well despite his size.” said the sister. “Too bad he won’t be around for very long.”

“I agree. It does seem unfair that he’ll melt in the next few days. But you know what Grandpa always said, Snowmen weren’t meant to last. Say, you wanna have a snowball fight with the Loafmans down the street?”

“You bet I do!” said the sister.

With that, the two children ran off to have their snowball fight. Leaving the snowman all alone with only his thoughts as company. Although he knew very little since he had only just been born, he was able to understand that his life was a short one. This left the snowman feeling sad.

“I don’t want to melt after a few days.” he said to himself. “I don’t know how long that is, but it can’t be very long. I want to live forever.”

An old man with a black cane with white tips came strolling down the sidewalk. He was whistling a happy little tune as he walked at a leisurely pace. Once he reached the poor unhappy snowman the old man stopped and tipped his hat.

“A very good morning to you my dear snowman.” said the old man.

“What’s so good about it?” said the snowman. “I’ve just found out I don’t have very long to live. How can any morning (whatever that is) be good knowing you won’t be around in a few days?”

“That’s no reason to be sad my friend.” said the old man. “My doctor told me just last week that I will be dead in six months. It is quite a relief. I’m 980 years old and I’ve outlived all of my family and friends. The only places I go to these days are the grocery store and the doctor’s office. Trust me when I say that there are worse things then death.”

A tear fell from the snowman’s button eye. “I don’t know how long 980 years is, but it has to be longer than my life. If I could live that long I’d be much happier. Heck, I wanna live forever.”

“Don’t wish for something so foolish young snowman.” said the old man. “It’s not the length of a person’s life that matters. It’s how you spend whatever time you have. Your life maybe short, but you have brought joy to the children who made you. They’ll have fond memories of building you long after you’ve melted away. That’s nothing to sneeze at.”

The snowman frown. “What do you care? You have more time than me!”

The old man sighed. “Alright young snowman, I’ll help you out. You see, I’m a magician by trade. In case you don’t know, that means that I do magic spells like pulling rabbits out of top hats and stuff like that.”

“Can you make me last forever?” ask the snowman.

“I can’t stop snow from melting.” said the magician. “What I can do is transform you into a plastic snowman. They don’t melt in the sun and they’re practically immortal. How does that sound to you?”

It sounded good to the young snowman. So he agreed to be transformed into a plastic snowman. The old magician waved his cane over the snowman (it was his magic wand), recited a few words the snowman didn’t understand, then a cloud of purple smoke covered the snowman. Once the smoke cleared, the snowman didn’t feel any different than he had before. At first he thought the old magician had deceived him. Then he looked at his arm. It wasn’t made out of wood. It was plastic. He looked over the rest of his body to find that he was no longer made of snow. Now he was plastic.

“”Oh thank you!” he said. “I don’t know how to repay you.”

“No thanks necessary.” said the magician. “Just glad to help. Besides, you probably won’t be so thankful later on.”

Before the snowman could ask what he meant by that, the magician walked away.

The children had come back from their snowball fight. They walked over to their snowman just to admire it. To their surprise it was now made out of plastic.

“Wonder what happened to our real snowman.” said the brother, who seemed unimpressed by the new plastic snowman.

“Don’t know.” said the sister. “Somebody must have knocked it down and gave us this cheap plastic thing instead.”

Although he didn’t know what cheap meant, the snowman felt offended by this remark. How could they insult him like that? Especially after building him. Yet they no longer seemed interested in him. He couldn’t understand this change of attitude. After watching the children run inside, the snowman decided not to let it bother him. Sure the kids may not be impressed by him, but at least he could take comfort knowing that he’ll be around forever.

Days passed and the snow had melted away just as it was predicted. The snowman, who was now made out of plastic, remained. Amazed to see that underneath the snow was some green stuff. He wanted to know what it was called. So he asked the family dog about it.

“It’s called grass.” said the dog.

“Grass.” said the snowman, who liked the sound of the word. “What is it for?”

The dog gave it some thought. Then he answered. “To give us dogs a place to go number two since it’s not allowed in the house. And to give humans a chance to earn some money by cutting it.”

“That’s very interesting.” said the snowman. “Tell me, what is money?”

“Green paper, small metal disc, and a plastic card humans use to get the things they want like food.” said the dog.

“You are very wise.” said the snowman. “How do you know so much?”

The dog shrugged. “When you’ve been around as long as I have. You get to know a few things.”

This gave the snowman an idea. “Could you teach me about the world? You know so much and I know so little.”

“I don’t know as much as you think.” said the dog. “But since you are eager to learn I’ll teach you everything I know. I’ll be coming out of the house to teach you all that I know.”

For the next two weeks the dog would come outside and teach the eager snowman everything he knew. The dog taught him that there were three other seasons besides winter. These seasons were called spring, summer, and winter. The snowman found it hard to believe, but the dog assured him that it was true. He described the warm weather and how the trees would sprout leaves on their limbs in the spring only to fall off in the fall.

“The summer is when it gets really hot.” said the dog. “But it’s when kids get off school and enjoy being outdoors when they’re not playing video games indoors.”

It was there that the dog taught the snowman about indoors. A concept the snowman found hard to comprehend. The dog assured him that he would get to go inside eventually. Since he was now made of plastic. The thought of being inside the house excited the snowman. Especially after learning that snowmen aren’t allowed inside houses.

Eventually, the snow had come back. The children, as they had so often done before, built another snowman. This one was much bigger than the plastic snowman. Since the weather was going to be cold for a long time. The plastic snowman was excited about the arrival of this new snowman. For he so wanted to pass his wisdom onto someone else. The plastic snowman told the real snowman all about summer, fall, and spring.

“There is no such thing.” said the real snowman. “There is only winter.”

“But there really are three other seasons.” said the plastic snowman. “I haven’t seen yet seen them for myself, but I have seen the world without snow.”

The real snowman remained unimpressed. “I find that extremely hard to believe. Besides, you aren’t even a real snowman.”

The plastic snowman tried to assure him that he was at one time a real snowman, but the real snowman refused to believe it. In fact, the real snowman refused to believe anything the plastic snowman told him. It was his belief that plastic snowmen can’t be trusted to tell the truth. Eventually, the real snowman melted away. Even though he wasn’t very nice, the plastic snowman couldn’t help but to feel a little sorry to see him go.

“He wasn’t given enough time.” the plastic snowman said to the dog.

“He didn’t use the time he had wisely.” said the dog. “Too many are like that, my friend. Best not to worry about it.”

Winter soon gave way to spring, and the plastic snowman was brought inside the house for the first time. He was excited to have this new experience. Seeing the furniture, TV, computer, and the children’s toys was a glorious sight to behold. Only it went by too fast for the plastic snowman’s liking. The father had wasted no time in placing the plastic snowman up in the attic. It was dark up in that attic. Darker than it ever got outside even at night. Outside, there was always the moon, the stars, and street lamps to provide light. None of that existed in this attic. It also wasn’t as spacious as the outdoors. Never before had the plastic snowman felt so cramped standing by some totes.

“I don’t think I like it here.” said the plastic snowman to himself.

“It’s not so bad.” said a plastic Santa. “Once you get used to it.”

“I doubt I’ll ever get used to this.” said the plastic snowman.

“You will over time.” said a plastic Frankenstein. “All of us have. Besides, it’s not like you’ll be here all the time. The family will take you out whenever they wanna decorate. You are one of the lucky ones.”

In that attic the plastic snowman made all sorts of friends. From each new friend he learned something new. The plastic Santa taught him about the importance of gift giving. The plastic Frankenstein taught him how you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. The artificial tree taught him about the value of patience patience, The inflatable turkey taught him about being grateful for small blessings. And the animation bunny taught him about the thrill of finding something.

His friends also told him stories about the holidays they experienced in the past. The plastic snowman was fascinated with the traditions associated with these holidays. He loved hearing about the things the family had done during these special occasions. Some of them new the parents back when they had first got married. They shared stories about what life was like before the children came along.

Not every member of the attic got to leave it. The old toys had been up there so long they couldn’t remember what the outside world was like. This was true for the old lamps, suitcases, and TV as well. The plastic snowman felt sorry for them. Yet none of them were sad about their circumstance. They had accepted their fate long ago and are content with just staying up in the attic swapping stories. The plastic snowman loved their stories. They told him about what life was like so long ago. It never occurred to the plastic snowman that life had existed before he was made.

Eventually, the plastic snowman was brought out of the house to serve as a decoration for the lawn. He got to see his friend the dog again and he shared all the stories he had heard up in the attic. The dog listened carefully. Clearly interested in what his friend had to say.

Whenever the snow fell, the children would make snowmen. The plastic snowman would tell them all that he knew. None of them found what he had to say interesting. They either called him a liar or say that his knowledge served no purpose to their lives. For five years the plastic snowman’s life consisted of attics, front yards, and snowmen who didn’t care about the wider world. He noticed that the children had gotten bigger and didn’t make snowmen very often anymore. That was fine with the plastic snowman who had grown to hate them. He noticed that his friend the dog walked a little slower than he used too. Often seeming to be tired even when he hadn’t done a lot during the day.

“Why are you always so tired my friend?” asked the plastic snowman. “Have you not been sleeping well at night?”

“Lately, all I do is sleep.” said the dog. “But I guess that’s to be expected for a dog my age. I wanted to tell you goodbye my friend.”

“Goodbye? Where are you going?”

“Soon. I’m going to be in that big doghouse in the sky.”

“Oh, that sounds like fun. Can I come with you?”

“I wish you could, but I’m afraid not.”

“When do think you’ll be back?”

The dog sighed. “I won’t be coming back my friend. You see, I’m gonna melt soon.”

Hearing this horrified the plastic snowman. “No! No! You can’t melt! You mustn’t! Please don’t!”

The dog carefully licked the tears off his friend’s plastic face. “I have no more say in the matter than the snowmen the children used to make. All living things must melt sooner or later. Don’t be sad for me my friend. I’ve lived a full life. I have no regrets.”

“I’m gonna miss you.” said the plastic snowman sadly.

“I’m gonna miss you too.” said the dog. “You are very lucky my friend. You never have to worry about melting like the rest of us.”

“I don’t feel lucky.”

“Perhaps not. But then, most of us don’t.”

The dog died in his sleep that very night. The family had buried him in the backyard. The plastic snowman didn’t get to see it. Even though he wanted too. He was a lot quieter than usual when he went back into the attic. Not saying a word unless spoken too. The others tried to cheer him up but the plastic snowman wouldn’t listen. He even hopped that he would stay in the attic forever. Unfortunately, his wish didn’t came true. That spring, the family had taken out many of the inhabitants from the attic. Including the plastic snowman. Then they placed these objects inside the garage with tags on them.

“What’s going on?” the plastic snowman asked an old lamp.

“This is a garage sale.” she said. “Every so often the family has one. We are going to be sold to different people.”

“Why do we have these tags on us?”

“They are our price tag. That’s how much money they are selling us for.”

Perhaps the idea of being sold to someone else should have horrified the plastic snowman. After all, this was the only home he ever knew. The fact is it didn’t. He was thrilled with the idea. Since the passing of his friend the plastic snowman found it painful to remain in the house. A change of scenery might be exactly what he needed.

A young man had bought the plastic snowman for exactly one dollar. He had placed his purchase in his trunk and drove away. Riding in the trunk of a car was yet another new experience for the plastic snowman. Seeing them drive by so many times on the street made him wish to ride in one. Though it wasn’t as glamorous as he thought since he slid around every time the car turned. The plastic snowman still loved being able to say he had rode in a car.

The young man lived in a studio apartment. Not much was inside in the way of furniture or decorations. Just a beat up couch that had seen better days, a table made out of old boxes, and some pictures on the wall. The plastic snowman was disappointed. Not because he was expecting to live in a mansion, but because there wasn’t many objects to make friends with.

Sitting the plastic snowman on his homemade table, the young said. “Grandma will love you. She’s always loved snowmen. We used to built many together back when Grandpa was alive. Only wish I could be there in person to see the look on her face when sees you. Lousy work schedule and having no money. Oh well, at least I can get her something for her birthday.”

The young man then placed the plastic snowman inside a cardboard box filled with packing peanuts. Once the lid was tapped shut the plastic snowman began to think back to the old attic. He used to thought that was cramped. Now it seemed like an open field compared to this small box. During his long trip to the young man’s grandmother, the plastic snowman only had his thoughts to keep him company. He thought about the front yard where he could see the sky go from day to night. He thought about all the objects in the attic and all the stories they shared. He thought about those snowmen who wouldn’t listen to him. He thought about the children who made them. Finally, he thought about his friend the dog. A tear fell from his eye as he thought about him.

Just as he thought the lid would never open, it did. An old woman picked him up from the box with shaky hands. She had the biggest smile on her face.

“I knew that grandson of mine wouldn’t forget my birthday.” she said. “He’s always sending me stuff. Wish he can be here but I know he can’t. Money’s tight and he lives too far away. If only my grandchildren who live nearby bother to come visit me. Lousy ingrates. Oh well. They just won’t be in the will.”

The old woman kept the plastic snowman sitting on her end table in the family room. Everyday the old woman would talk to him. Sharing stories about her childhood, how she met her husband, her children, her grandchildren, and all the good and bad times they had. It was a pleasant experience for the plastic snowman.

Pleasant experiences seldom last long. One year after arriving at the old woman’s house she died in her sleep. Everything the old woman had owned was either sent to one of her relatives, thrown away, or sold off. The plastic snowman fell into the third category.

For many years the plastic snowman would go from one home to another. Rarely staying put for very long. Although he would make friends with many of the objects, he would have to leave for one reason or another. Eventually, he decided it was best to be friendly rather than being friends with anyone. Less painful that way. Some of the homes were nice while others not so much. He had at one point ended up living with a hoarder for four years. That was one experience the plastic snowman would try to forget.

By the time he ended up at an antique store, the plastic snowman no longer cared about where he lived. He knew that sooner or later he would just end up leaving. There was no point in getting attached to any place. The objects at the store were about the friendliest he ever met. Yet the plastic snowman didn’t change his approach. He was always friendly, but he didn’t get attached. Some of the objects tried to be friends with him, but the plastic snowman wouldn’t hear of it. This caused him to develop a reputation of being a stuck up.

“Let them think what they want.” he said to himself. “I don’t care.”

One day, the magician who had turned him into a plastic snowman entered the antique store. When he saw the snowman sitting on a shelf he smiled.

“Well, long time no see.” said the magician. “Where have you been?”

“Around.” said the plastic snowman. “How are you still alive? Last time I saw you, you only only had six months to live.”

“Yeah, about that. That doctor of mine couldn’t tell the difference between his elbow and his backside. First he tells me I have six months to live. Next thing I know twenty years pass and I find myself going to his funeral. Was there just the other day. Screw doctors. They don’t know nothing. Decided to come here since I’m no longer going to the doctor. Enough about my problems. How have you been old friend?”

The plastic snowman told the magician everything that had happened to him since they last saw each other. At a few points he found himself getting emotional. Especially when he spoke about his old friend the dog. He felt a little silly feeling sad about the dog’s death after all these years. Yet the magician didn’t seem to mind. He just listened carefully. Not saying a word unless it was to ask the occasional question. Over the years the snowman had told his story to many different objects. Some believed he was at one point a real snowman while others thought he was making it up. It felt good to be able to talk to someone who knew he spoke the truth. When he had completed his story, the magician nodded.

“You’ve led an adventurous life these last twenty years.” he said.

“An adventure I wish were over.” said the plastic snowman bitterly.

“Surely you’re not sick of being alive, are you?” asked the magician, pretending to sound surprised.

“You better believe I am.” said the plastic snowman. “I’ve had experiences I wish I didn’t have. I’ve seen things I wish I never saw. And I’ve heard things I wish I didn’t hear. The worst thing about it is it just won’t stop! The hardships never go away! It’s enough to make me lose my mind!”

“Dealing with hardships is a part of life.” said the magician. “The longer the life the more hardships you face. I tried to warn you about that before I turned you into a plastic snowman.”

“Yeah, well you didn’t try hard enough! I’m sick of this whole business called life and wish it to end. Turn me back into a real snowman so I can melt!”

The magician crossed his arms disapprovingly. “Not with that attitude I will! I don’t help anyone who disrespects me.”

“You think I don’t get disrespected?” yelled the plastic snowman. “I’ve been disrespected by every snowman I’ve met! I’ve encountered objects that disrespect me! I’ve been kicked, pushed, thrown, dropped, and called junk by all sorts of owners. Throughout it all I was nice about it but not anymore! I’ve lived longer than any snowman ever has. I’ve earned the right to be disrespectful to anyone I want!”

The magician didn’t say a word. At first the plastic snowman was happy about this. He thought he made an argument so strong that the magician could offer no rebuttal. Then he saw the magician turn around and walk towards the door. A sense of urgency began to build up in the plastic snowman as he watched the door open. The one person who could end his suffer was getting ready to leave. Possibly never to come back again.

“Don’t go!” he yelled. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean what I said! Just please don’t leave me like this!”

The magician stopped dead in his tracks. He stood halfway at the door for about a minute. It was as if he was thinking what to do. Closing the door, he walked back to the plastic snowman, took him to the counter and bought him for five dollars.

“What made you change your mind?” asked the plastic snowman once they were outside.

“Your apology.” said the magician. “Besides, I can’t blame you for feeling a little bitter. Had those feelings myself too many times over the centuries. Just tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it.”

These were the words the plastic snowman had wanted to hear for so many years. He instructed the magician to leave him in an open field and turn him back into a real snowman. Since the temperature was 92 degrees he was sure to melt in no time. He also requested that the magician stay with him as he melted. The magician agreed to his terms. So they went to an open field where the magician placed the plastic snowman on the ground. With the wave of his wand and a few magic words, the plastic snowman was once again a real snowman. The heat already started to work on the snowman as he began to melt almost immediately. As he melt he and the magician had a conversation. They talked about happier days when they were both young. Laughing at events that didn’t seem funny at the time.

“You really are very lucky.” said the magician. “You got to live exactly as long as you wanted, you’ve had experiences no snowman can have, and you get to go the way you want. Not too many people can say that.”

“My friend the dog once told me I was lucky.” said the snowman. “Didn’t feel that way at the time but now I do. Tell me, do you think I’ll get to see my friend again?”

“I’m sure you will.” said the magician.

Soon the snowman was just a puddle of water all the ground. The fate that befalls every snowman. Unlike other snowmen, he was never forgotten. The objects who knew him spread his story far and wide. Passing it down to each generation. It became legendary even among snowmen. Though most snowmen dismiss the story as a fairy tale, many couldn’t help but to feel a little envious of the plastic snowman.

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